Book A One Way Flight To The Next Instagram Hot Spot: Chernobyl

After weeks of procrastinating, I finally caught up on the new Chernobyl show on HBO. If you haven’t seen it yet – I suggest you watch it. It’s VERY captivating, and by captivating I mean I was up until 4am binging it because I physically could not stop watching. However, apart from it being interesting, I’ve come to learn that it is *THE* *PREMIERE* *SPOT* for your next instagram!

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Summer Job Opportunity: Ferris Wheel Operator

Feel like your insta has been pretty dull lately? Over-filtered beach photos and group shots at your bestie’s bridal shower just not racking up the minute-to-like ratio you’re looking for? Get out those Amex miles, ya’ll!

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For the low, low price of $941, YOU TOO can potentially contract radiation poisoning from this continent-wide tragedy!

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Swipe Up for Lead Laced Undies, $600

Millions of undocumented deaths and neglect for the well being of all humans within a 200 kilometer radius, but make it sexy!

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REVLON Hair Dye in “Chernobyl Amber,” $17

Matching your hair to the radiation-soaked trees! Work it, ladies!

Tired of your hands? Sick of your skin? What about your vision? For those of you who watched the show and understand the effects of touching pieces of graphite on the ground post-core explosion, or exposing your bare eyeballs to the continuous stream of ionized air, you’ll now have the *EXCLUSIVE* chance to head on over and slowly deteriorate over an undocumented amount of time!

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CLICK THROUGH for Geiger Counter, $146

Tired of Paris? London not producing the excitement and thrill you’re looking for? All-inclusive trips to Jamaica really becoming trite? Merry Christmas Kids, you’ve just unwrapped a family trip to The Most Uninhabitable Place On Earth this year!

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Last but not least; struggling to find a wedding venue? Traditional weddings are for squares. Veils are so 2018.

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Chic Gas Mask, $79

 

Be sure to #HASHTAG all of your vaca pics to spread the word! #CHERNOBYL

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