Colton Thought He Was Having Sex Tonight But Instead He Had His Heart Ripped Out And Stomped On Repeatedly #TheBachelor

Tonight was Fantasy Suite night on The Bachelor. My favorite episode every season. We usually get a lot of awkward sex jokes, a ton of forced public displays of affection and my personal favorite, the shot of the clothes from the night before on the floor of the hotel room. It’s GOLD. I wore my red satin robe with ostrich feather trim just for the occasion.

What did we get instead? A public slaughter. An absolute massacre of the heart. A train wreck none of us could look away from. A car accident that glued our eyes to the screen like magnets. The industrial sized magnets you only see in cartoons. We watched Cassie rip Colton to pieces.

I’m not going to go through the whole song and dance of explaining it. Essentially Cassie decided to give up on trying to work through things with Colton before even knowing where they would end up, because she was nervous. Her dad was flown out to PORTUGAL by ABC to tell her that “getting engaged right now would be a mistake.” Colton flat out told her they didn’t have to get engaged. He was happy to just be with her, to see how it all went, to see the relationship through. He was ready to stop the show. He’s setting his bachelor world and everyone in it (shoutout Hannah G who didn’t even get a date tonight) on fire for Cassie. He loves her. He’s SHAKING because he’s so upset that she’s talking about leaving.

Why the FUCK would she just give up like this??? What’s the harm in seeing something through in its entirety? Why cut the fucking cord before either of you has a chance to even SEE what you could be? Before you even have a conversation about it? Before you can compromise because of the ridiculousness of this show and get on the same page LIKE ADULTS?!?!?!?!?!!? WHY CASSIE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?????????

I’m so heated. I can’t sleep. I did a full recap on my IG live, and it’ll be available for 24 hours. After that it’ll be on my @whinewithkelly instagram and I’ll rewatch it over and over to remind myself that there’s still a little bit of fire behind these cold dead eyes of mine.

Fuck Cassie for bailing. Team Colton for life. There’s a rhythm inside him that he can’t slow down. He gives up, his hand’s up for love. LET HIM LOVE YOU CASSIE

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