Tonight begins the finale of #BachelorinParadise, easily the most dramatic, long, complicated season of BIP we’ve had in a few years. I’ll be doing a live preshow at 7:30 on @tvpartyapp – download and follow me. Just do it. It’ll make me money. And you get to see me talking nonsense before the show tonight. After the show, at 10pm, I’ll be live on Instagram. I’ve missed my Instagram crowd, so I’ve just got to double up and do both. Bachelor never sleeps.
As Night 1 of 2 begins, I’m staring down the barrel of a boring, lonely 3 months until January. And at the end of those three months, when this show comes back and gives me a reason to interact with the internet again, it’ll be all about Colton. Cool. Great. Wonderful. Grand.
I’m sending up some prayers to the Bachelor gods. (Looking at you, Chris Harrison.) I need Colton’s season to be excellent. I need something to pull me out of my slump. I need something good to look forward to. I’m officially putting my happiness in your hands, ABC. You’re my only hope.