Everyone knows that Whole Foods is the hotness right now because a block of cheese doesn’t cost $35 anymore. Shoutout Jeff Bezos. The hipsters are undoubtedly furious, considering I now assume the fresh salsa being served at their granola parties was purchased at an affordable grocery store instead of the gourmet situation I used to think Whole Foods was. For a long time I told myself I wasn’t classy enough to go to Whole Foods, mostly because I grew up on, like, Kraft Mac & Cheese and Hamburger Helper (which is delicious. IDGAF what you say). But now, I can go.
Today, it has officially been confirmed that Whole Foods is stealing customers from places like WalMart and Trader Joe’s with their LOW LOW PRICES! Before #CheapWholeFoods though, I can PROMISE you I was not shopping at WalMart. Contrary to popular belief, considering I look so young and spritely, I am no longer in college. If I were, I’d be grocery shopping at WalMart. I also, I’m sure you weren’t able to tell, do not live in Middle America. There’s a reason we have “People of Walmart” Instagrams and Tumblr pages:
Now – imagine these people at Whole Foods. This kid on a leash is telling his mom he wants Fresh Guacamole and Organic Blue Corn Chips instead of a bag of cheese doodles for 99 cents. These women are filling their scooter-carts with Scallops by the pound and baked macaroons instead of frozen White Castle mini burgers. IT’S MADNESS.
WalMart, Frozen Food & Hamburger Helper – you are officially on notice.
Whine With Kelly 